Last night I ended up at a bar/club called Metros in the city centre. I had a preconceived notion that this club was a gay club (I think because people from the Queer community had consistently mentioned it to me). I was thus shocked when I arrived at the dark venue, playing Emo music and everyone dressed in black and Emo clothing. It was the antithesis of the colourful, upbeat LGBTQIA+ club that I had imagined before arriving.
Photo: Metro's Logo, Taken from Metro's Facebook Page.
The Outsider Looking In
I was a complete outsider. In fact, I have never felt so out of place in a space in my life. I am not a part of the Emo subculture but I had always considered it as something distanced from the subcultures that I participate in, but all of a sudden, I was put into a zone where I was the one distanced - I was not a part of the cultural norms of this space. I only knew a couple of songs that were playing, I didn't know any words to the songs, but everyone else did, so when I was engaging with others and they were singing the song with passion, I could not build that temporary connection that you typically establish when singing in a nightclub with a total stranger.
It wasn't just the song choices that were foreign to me, it was the dancing as well. The music is hard to dance to, and so the movements are more static, head-banging and jumping were required to fit in. So, I found myself dancing this way which I hadn't done before.
Weekly Ritual or Nostalgia Chasing?
From discussing with people, it seemed that some of the people were there as a weekly ritual of the Cardiff Emo scene, but others seemed to be there out of nostalgia for their teenage angst. In the UK, we tend to refer back to this period of time in adolescence as 'The Emo Phase' - a period of time when a teenager's music taste turns to Emo music (Hardcore punk, post-hardcore) and subsequently engages in the Emo subculture that involves more than just the music. Their fashion temporarily changes to mostly dark clothing, they die their hair and get piercings. These are not true for all people who listen to Emo music, but those who experience Emo subculture in its entirety for a short period of time - a phase.
Overlapping of Queer and Emo Communities
Although Metro's is not a 'gay club', I did notice that the Emo zone overlapped with a Queer community. There were far more men than women, but the interactions that I had with people revealed that there was a range of gender and sexual orientations. Considering the club was not very full, it seems there was a high concentration of members identifying as queer in such a small zone.
This made sense as, although I was an outsider, the space that I entered was a very open one, and accepting. I didn't feel judged for not conforming to the Emo look, nor was I judged for not knowing the words to the songs. It seems the Emo subculture is centred around external displays of identity, and Metro's is a place where the participants of this culture are able to express themselves freely, where they are the majority rather than a detached part of society. Similarly, when I have entered Queer spaces and communities, I have always felt safe and accepted, and like other members of the Queer community, I could express myself freely without worrying and where the minority became the majority.
Choosing to live an Emo lifestyle is not equivalent to queerness, but I understand how these two worlds collide.
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